Helping Kids with School Separation Anxiety

Starting or returning to school can be an exciting milestone—but for many children, it also comes with big feelings. Separation anxiety is a normal part of development, but when it shows up at the classroom door, it can feel overwhelming for both kids and parents. The good news? With support, consistency, and the right tools, children can learn to feel secure and confident when saying goodbye.

Why Separation Anxiety Happens

Children thrive on familiarity and routine. When they’re away from their family, they may feel unsure or worried about what's to come. New teachers, classmates, and environments can add to that stress. Separation anxiety doesn’t mean your child isn’t ready—it’s a signal that they need extra reassurance during the transition.

Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Separation Anxiety

• Clinginess at drop-off

• Tears or tantrums when it’s time to go

• Complaints of stomachaches or headaches before school

• Asking repeatedly when you’ll be back

• Trouble sleeping before school

Gentle Strategies to Support Your Child

Here are some ways to make the school transition smoother:

Create a Predictable Routine

Consistency is comforting. Morning routines with familiar steps—breakfast, brushing teeth, packing their bag, and a goodbye ritual—help children know what to expect.

Use Short and Sweet Goodbyes

Lingering can increase anxiety. A quick hug, a special phrase (like “See you after play time!”), or a secret handshake can provide comfort without prolonging the goodbye.

Offer a Comfort Object

For younger children, a small token—a family photo in their backpack, a special bracelet, or a note tucked into their lunch—can remind them of your love throughout the day.

Stay Calm and Confident

Children can read your energy. Even if you’re worried, keeping your goodbye calm and reassuring shows your child that school is a safe place.

Practice at Home

Play “school” together to practice the drop-off routine. You can also read books about starting school to help normalize their feelings.

Collaborate with Teachers

Communicate with your child’s teacher about what worries you've noticed. Educators have experience and can share helpful strategies to support children when transitioning.

Supporting Yourself as a Parent

Separation anxiety isn’t just tough on kids—it can be tough on parents too. It’s normal to feel sadness or guilt when your child cries at drop-off. Remind yourself that as your child builds resilience, that their confidence will grow with time and practice.

Remember: This Is a Season

Separation anxiety often eases as children settle into new routines. With patience, encouragement, and steady support, children often begin to look forward to their school days. You’re not alone in this—many families are navigating this transitional period.

✨ At Hey Ms Norbi Educator Doula, I support families through milestones big and small. Whether it’s preparing little ones for school or navigating the postpartum journey, my role is to walk beside you with tools, guidance, and encouragement.

If your child is struggling with school transitions, let’s connect. Together, we can create strategies that work for your family. 💛